Vegetarian myths debunked
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There is a great article over at Slate on Vegetarians: I may be a vegetarian, but I still love the smell of bacon. I’m definitely one of those vegetarians who still loves the smell of bacon.
First off here’s a great definition of what a vegetarian is:
To demonstrate what a vegetarian really is, let’s begin with a simple thought experiment. Imagine a completely normal person with completely normal food cravings, someone who has a broad range of friends, enjoys a good time, is carbon-based, and so on. Now remove from this person’s diet anything that once had eyes, and, wham!, you have yourself a vegetarian. Normal person, no previously ocular food, end of story. Some people call themselves vegetarians and still eat chicken or fish, but unless we’re talking about the kind of salmon that comes freshly plucked from the vine, this makes you an omnivore. A select few herbivores go one step further and avoid all animal products—milk, eggs, honey, leather—and they call themselves vegan, which rhymes with “tree men.” These people are intense.
My beloved wife when I read this said “What about shellfish?” I have no idea if shellfish have eyes or not but they’re on the banned list too.
This next bit also resonates:
Which leads me to a vital point for friendly omnivore-herbivore relations. As you’re enjoying that pork loin next to me, I am not silently judging you. I realize that anyone who has encountered the breed of smug vegetarian who says things like, “I can hear your lunch screaming,” will find this tough to believe, but I’m honestly not out to convert you.
I have no problem with people who eat meat. It’s a personal decision on my part and I don’t expect anyone to change their eating habits based on what I do.
Finally, grant me one more cordial request: Please don’t try to convince us that being vegetarian is somehow wrong. If you’re concerned for my health, that’s very nice, though you can rest assured that I’m in shipshape. If you want to have an amiable tête-à-tête about vegetarianism, that’s great. But if you insist on being the aggressive blowhard who takes meatlessness as a personal insult and rails about what fools we all are, you’re only going to persuade me that you’re a dickhead.
That just cracked me up. It’s so true. I’m not totally shipshape yet but I’m getting there. I think I may have been one of those dickheads back in the past. Oh well, sic vita.
One thing that he didn’t mention (or I missed it) and I don’t know if this is common elsewhere but I’ve noticed that it’s much more generally accepted for women to be vegetarians than it is for men? It seems to be quite a common theme.
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